2/6/14

10 tips to mastering a break up

miranda kerr, orlando bloom

Like most things that come with time, the evolution of breaking up has strongly changed over the years. In the olden days, you would break up with someone, and ultimately, they were dead to you. There were no late night drunk text messages, long repetitive emails, and you couldn't find out exactly what your ex was doing at all times via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Vine, Snapchat...okay I could go on forever.  My point is,  there are now a lot of different roads you could take in a breakup. You can take the short cuts, or you can take the highway to hell. Here are some things I suggest you both start and stop doing, but then again, who am I. Just some 24 year old girl still bitter about her 4th grade boyfriend breaking up with her for an older, blonde, more developed 5th grade girl. Just kidding I'm totally over it. Bitch. 

1. Don't unfriend them on Facebook. There really is no point. It's 2014, if you don't see pictures of them on their own FB, you will see it on their friends, or their sisters, or their third cousins, so really just avoid doing it. It's an immature move, that shows the entire Facebook community that you cannot get over you ex so you had to remove them from your social media feed. Go to a shrink, eat a gallon of ice cream, have a one night stand, but whatever you do, don't unfriend them on Facebook.

2. Don't hook up with one of their friends: As tempting as it is, it's just not cool. You may lose some people from your team after performing that little stunt. And, if you think it'll get them back, you're wrong. 

3. Don't blow up their phone.

4. Don't try to be friends. Unless you're Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, this scenario will never end well. One of the parties will still be emotionally attached, whether you are aware or not. It's a ticking time bomb.

5. Don't sleep with them. 

6. Don't start talking to them just because you hear they are finally seeing someone else. If you have currently completed the 7th grade Bar Mitzvah phase, you should probably be above performing this act. 

7. Do remind yourself about all of the things you couldn't stand about them. Write it out if you have to, and look at it the next time you're about to text them. If you feel yourself about to do that, tell yourself you are going to wait an hour before you do it. By that time, you will literally say WTF was I just thinking 59 minutes ago?!

8. Do remember that people don't really change. I'd hate to say once a cheater always a cheater, but sorry boys and girls, for the most part...once a cheater always a cheater. If they didn't treat you well then, they aren't going to treat you well now. If they didn't make you a priority then, they won't make you one now. If they weren't ready to propose to you then, they won't be now. If their parents were cold to you then, they still will be now. 

9. Do not send them a text message saying I miss you or thinking about you just because you are fighting with your new boyfriend or girlfriend. When the fight is over, you will still have just messed with someones head who didn't deserve to be any part of that scenario. 

10. When you like someone a lot or even love them, you see what you want to see in both them and the relationship. Open your eyes, stop being so naive, and finally take a look at everything for what it was. 

{Pic c/o E online }

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